Worrying about leaving young children with other people is normal. Knowing what to watch out for and how to step in if you have a concern is crucial to the wellbeing of your child.

Children can benefit in many ways when they are cared for by different people – they can learn how to be close to people who are not their parents, and they can have the chance to learn and play with other children in a child-oriented environment.

At the same time, having harm come to their children is the nightmare of all the adults who love them. Worried parents ask questions like, “How can I make sure that the people I trust to care for my children will keep them safe and well?”

Children are extremely vulnerable to injury or abuse as a result of the choices of the people who are taking care of them. The good news is that dangers from caregivers can almost always be prevented. Letting someone else take care of the children we love means trusting this person with the most precious part of our lives. Parents and guardians are responsible for selecting and supervising the care of their children, whether the caregivers are individuals or the staff of programs like child care centers and schools.

At the same time, it is important to keep your balance. You do not want to overreact to an upsetting possibility in a way that damages your child’s trust in being left with other people.

It is the job of adults to ensure that the environments where we put children and the people we entrust with their care are emotionally and physically safe. We recommend that adults have high expectations in assessing other caregivers in terms of the following standards.

  • Good cleanliness practices – especially with food preparation, handling of illness, and toilet/bathroom practices – to prevent disease from spreading.
  • Age-appropriate protection from hazards such as traffic, poisonous substances, sharp objects, water, fire, potentially dangerous people, and getting lost.
  • Clear boundaries about touch, teasing, and play between all adults and children. This means that anything for fun or affection must be the choice of each person involved, safe, and allowed by the adults in charge. This also means that any touch required (such as touch for health or cleanliness) is known to the parents or guardians and is never a secret.
  • Effective, respectful behavior management so that children are guided into interacting with others in positive ways and stopped when they are using destructive behavior without being punished, called names, or yelled at.
  • Adequate supervision so that adults see what is happening with children, make sure that children are where they are supposed to be, and step in to help children solve problems positively rather than destructively.
  • Specific permission from parents and guardians about any changes in terms of who will be with their children, what they will be doing, and where they will be going.
  • Age-appropriate activities that will help the child to learn and to grow.
  • Permission for older children to always be able to call you if they need help.
  • At schools, camps, or youth groups, clear policies and practices in place about preventing bullying, molestation, and other violence.

Remember, there is no such thing as an “over-protective parent,” and if someone calls you that, say proudly, “Thank you! I am just doing my job!” Your responsibility as a child’s parent or guardian is to be as protective as you feel is necessary while finding ways to give your child the opportunity to be with new people and go to new places.